


Boltneck but spideypool

by Animus_Luciform



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom!Peter, Consensual Underage Sex, M/M, Not Beta Read, Scarless!wade, Superfamily, Underage Drinking, alternative universe, boltneck, frankenstien shit going on, if you haven't watched it you totally should, its basically the movie boltneck but gay, its on YouTube and everything, no powers, ryan Reynolds is in it, top!wade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 15:11:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animus_Luciform/pseuds/Animus_Luciform
Summary: "I'm gonna remake all of Ryan Renolds's movies but with only one slight adjustment. Make them good." -deadpoolThis is basically the movie boltneck/ big monster on campus, but gay and it has marvel characters instead of the original ones. Boltneck is about a teenage boy who is able to bring things back to life and when he sees the two school jocks trying to dispose of a guy they just accidentally killed, peter swoops in to save the day by bringing him back. With science! But, since he gave wade a new brain and it's the brain of a recently deceased killer, he unwittingly brought a killer back to life instead of wade. That killer being deadpool.I'm sorry I suck at summarizing, please just read it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think I might do this with a couple more of Ryan Reynolds movies, like van wilder and just friends. Idk, tell me what you think.

"Have you heard the story about the dead dog that came back to life a couple of days after the dog was buried? He dug himself out of the grave. It was in all the papers. It takes several days for a corpse to really be dead. For example, after we die our hair still grows, fingernails still grow, pimples still form, and bowls still move. Energy pulsates throughout the body even after death and this energy can be used to reverse the dying process. Wether it's a fluke electrical current through the brain, or a lightning storm, the dead can come back to life. No one has ever figured out how or why, but it happens. If you don't believe me, go to a cemetery, walk up, lie on a fresh grave, put your ear to the ground and listen. Listen carefully, to the sounds of the living dead clawing, scratching, digging, trying to escape before they suffocate and die again. I believe the suspended anatomical state of the deceased merits further investigation. Can electrical currents modulate the cells between life and death? Can a life force be harnessed and to an effect raise the dead?" Peter paused, fidgeting with the sides of his paper.

Peter's best friend, Harry, had been making a cut off hand gesture as peter got to the end of his essay. Clearly he and the rest of the class weren't the biggest fans of it. Laughs could be heard throughout the classroom, making peter become even more nervous as he relayed his essay for his entire science class to hear.

"Mister Banner, how much longer does this have to go on?" Flash groaned, leaning back in his seat.

Francis, flashes friend and fellow popular kid, snickered at that." Frankin weeny. He's got a bolt lose man." Flash grinned and they high fived each other.

The rest of the class laughed, well except for Gwen and Harry. Which made peter feel a little better, Gwen was one of the popular girls and peter didn't know her all that well, but she seemed nice.

Mr. Banner sighed." Just settle down." He turned to peter." Peter, continue if you must."

Peter took a long breath, calming himself before continuing much to the displeasure of even Harry." I intend to confirm the theory of heavy electron resurrection using live experimentation. On mice of course."

Mr. Banner stood from his seat." Don't you know peter, that theory was disproven as far back as the 18 century? Any hypothesis that deals with reanimation is only fantasy."

Peter turned to mr. Banner." Sir, I've already started my research." He replied, a little exasperated.

"Peter, I don't have to fail you again, do I?" He asked, equally exasperated.

Peter sighed and went back to his seat at the back of the classroom, next to Harry. Peter slumped onto the table and didn't say anything else for the remainder of the class.

After the bell rung, peter walked out with Harry and they made their way to their lockers. They were locker neighbors, that's actually how they became friends freshman year.

"That was really embarrassing, peter. You know your stock depreciates every time you babble on like that." Harry sighed." You need to get yourself together."

Just then, Gwen rushed passed them, heading for the booth where mj was already sat at. It was where the tickets were being sold for the upcoming school dance.

"Hey, Gwen." Peter attempted to greet her, but she barely noticed.

"Oh, get over it man. I don't know what's more ridiculous, you dating Gwen or raising the dead?" Harry joked.

Peter nudged Harry with his elbow." Shut up, I don't like her like that. She just seems like a nice girl, I want to be her friend."

"Sure." Harry smirked." Though, you barley have a chance at that either. Listen, you wanna know why I never get turned down?"

Peter grinned." Cause your hand can't talk?"

" Ha, that's very clever. That's clever, ha." Harry said sarcastically, opening his locker.

^^^at the booth^^^

Gwen rushed past two guys, making her way to one of her best friends, mj. She was the treasurer, so Gwen had to stay at the booth to collect the money from the tickets. She had talked mj into hanging out with her there so she wouldn't be bored.

"Hey, mj." She grinned, moving to sit behind the table that mj was sitting on.

Mj grinned and waved, then she pointed to Wade Wilson, a loser goth kid." Look, obvious product of a dysfunctional family life."

Gwen looked, not interested in the least." Ug, whatever. Looks like to much time in front of a mirror if you ask me." She joked.

Mj laughed, lightly hitting Gwen's side." Gwen." She paused, looking towards Vanessa, flash, and Francis who were making their way towards them." Look at Vanessa." She looked down at her chest and then to Vanessa's." She's so big."

Flash walked straight up to mj, placing his hands on her hips, then sliding them to her hands, twirling her so that her arms were around his neck." You two sweet honey's on prime for Francis' party tonight?"

Francis just grinned, leaning into Gwen, though she was less then interested." Well let me think, Football team, cheep booze, raging hormones? Yeah, what more could a girl want in an evening?" She drawled sarcastically.

Gwen then looked back over to wade, who was still brooding around his locker." You know what? Maybe we should go to his house." She said, motioning to the goth.

Flash and Francis first looked at each other confused and then to wade. Francis was the first to move over to the goth who was now giving them confused looks." Hey, buddy! Hey, did ya hear I'm having a party tonight at 586 Ranchoviara."

Wade put his books into his locker, still looking confused." Okay, thanks." He said lamely.

That's when flash quickly walked up." For what? Your not invited." He snapped.

Wade was at a loss for words, he looked at his locker and then down to his feet. Unsure of what to do.

^^^later that night^^^

Harry finished reading the back of a movie that he found in Peter's room." Man, this sounds gruesome."

Peter waved him off." No, no." He muttered." It's awesome. See, they froze this dead dude, sub 0, and then sliced him with a laser into 50 sheets and scanned him into a computer."

Harry nodded." Ohh, yeah. Totally not gruesome." Harry said sarcastically, picking up another movie." Witch doctors from Peru?"

Peter sighed." No, no. He's a shaman and he's got a hell of a website on postmortem resurrection rituals." Peter explained excitedly.

Harry sighed." Peter, correspondence with these freaks can not be healthy. Even if they are only on the internet."

Peter brushed him off." No, no, it's all apart of my research."

"You're too much, man. You're way too obsessed with death." Harry chuckled.

Peter shrugged." Nah, it's life that's dangerous." Peter then jumped up from his position on his bed." Hey, speaking of, its time to live a little." Peter said, walking towards his door.

Harry looked at him, confused." What? Where we going?" He asked, following after him.

Peter looked back at Harry, pausing." There's a party down the street at Francis'."

Harry shrugged." So?"

"Just come on." He said, walking down the stairs.

_'Deadpool, convicted felon, was shot to death this evening by the owner of a hair salon he was attempting to rob. Authorities say his brain has been donated to a medical facility researching the criminal mind. In other news, ducks-'_

Peter stopped in the living room, where his dad was watching the news." Hey, honey. Nice to see you, Harry." He pulled peter into a hug." Peter, your science teacher called again and you're going to need to talk to your father." He whispered into Peter's ear so that Harry couldn't hear.

Peter nodded." That is if he ever leaves his lab again." He joked.

His dad gave him a stern look." Peter, if your father heard you say that it would break his heart. You know he's studying for his board review, you should be proud of him."

Peter looked down." I'm sorry."

Peter's dad looked between the two kids, the silence awkward." Not every kids father studies brains for a living, right?" He said, trying to brighten the mood.

"Dad." Peter said." I won't be home late." Peter and Harry headed to the door, but not before receiving hugs from Peter's dad.

He nodded." Okay, you better get going. Bye, sweetie." He smiled.

"Bye, dad." Peter said, shutting the door. Peter and Harry made their way to Francis' house, it didn't take too long since he lived just down the street.

"This is a bad idea." Harry mumbled as they climbed the stairs to the front entrance.

"No it's not." Peter sighed, ringing the doorbell." Probably." He muttered.

Harry sighed, stopping next to peter at the door." Yeah, okay."

The door was lazily flung open the next moment by flash." What's up, man?" He asked, his previously happy demeanor turning sour at peter and Harry's faces. He suddenly pulled up his shirt sleeve and shoved his arm out towards peter." Pinch me, come on! Pinch me! Right here!" He exclaimed, slapping his lower arm.

Peter hesitantly lifted him hand and pinched where flash was motioning, earning an 'ow!' From him.

Flash pulled his arm back and laughed." Just as I suspected."

"What?" Peter asked.

"You're the one dreaming." He said before slamming the door shut in peter and Harry's faces.

Peter sighed and turned to Harry, who sighed." Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, party animal." Harry said sarcastically before turning around and heading back to his house.

Peter sighed heavily, not moving from the door just yet, rubbing the back of his neck.

^^^at the party^^^

Flash and mj where sitting on the couch, making out, in a back room that was practically devoid of any other teenagers. The only other people were Francis, Gwen, and Vanessa." Do you think my boobs are small?" Mj asked between kisses.

Flash leaned back." Aw, no, baby. It's not the size, it's what you do with them." Flash grinned.

"What can I do with them?" Mj asked.

Flash smirked, leaning closer." You can let me touch them."

Gwen rolled her eyes, doing her best to ignore the other teenagers in the room by looking out the screen door to the pool." Can we go now?" She asked, exasperated. Nobody answered.

She was straining her eyes to see outside, but it was difficult since it had just started to storm. Just then, a flash of lightning practically blinded her, but that wasn't what made her jump back and yell in shock. Illuminated by the light, she saw that wade kid.

Startled by her yell, the other four teens rushed to the door. Francis opened it to see the goth standing there, looking awkward." Excuse me ladies, this is boy talk." He said, pushing the girls back into the room and shutting the door after flash came out." What are you doing in mister Francis' neighborhood, man?" Francis stalked forward.

Wade refused to step back, he was sick of being pushed around by everyone." Uh, looking for a beer or some coke or something." His stutter and awkward laugh giving away how nervous he was.

Gwen huffed and turned away from the glass door." I don't wanna see this, come on." She and the two other girls walked back over to the couch, occupying themselves with tv.

Francis looked at wade like he was insane, turning to flash and then back to wade." Would you check this man out!" He exclaimed, stalking forwards some more.

Wade took a step back, changing from awkward to scared as he was backed up into the edge of the empty pool.

"Yeah! You know my therapist told me that I get threatened by things I don't understand and guess what? I don't understand you." Francis mocked, flash snickering behind him.

Wade lifted his fists, throwing a punch in Francis's general direction. Missing.

" See, now that's what I'm talking about. Tough guy!" Flash exclaimed from behind Francis.

Francis just laughed and punched wade right in the nose, knocking him back into the previously full pool.

Flash, having not seen that the pool was empty, started to joke about how wade was now all wet.

Francis on the other hand, looked horrified down at the obviously dead wade." Oh my god, who drained all the water in the pool!" He said angrily.

Flash looked down into the empty pool, seeing wade laying there, blood spilling from his head." Uh, get me the hose, I'll hose it down."

Just then, the screen door opened, revealing the three girls." What's going on?" Mj hesitantly asked.

Francis looked from the dead goth to the girl's." Uh, flash threw up."

Flash nodded, making puking motions." I'm warning you, it's chunky." He added.

The girls looked unimpressed." Where's wade?" Gwen asked, sounding bored.

Francis shrugged." Scaredy cat took off, you know, he's gone."

Vanessa raised her eyebrow." Well, if you're going to ignore us and fuck around with each other, we're leaving too. Come on." She said, walking back into the house and making for the exit, Gwen and mj following after a short goodbye.

Francis and flash grabbed Wade's body from the pool after the girls left and hauled it to flash's jeep. They tossed wade into the back, with a lot of complaint from flash. Wade was a tall dude.

Peter was leisurely making his way back home when he heard all the the ruckus coming from the two jocks. He saw them toss Wade's limp body into the back, he had a bad feeling about it and made his way over to them.

Before peter could reach them though, a cop pulled up to them. Peter recognized him as mr. Barton, a friend of his parents. He got out of the car and gave the two boys a look, not failing to notice wade as well. He shined a flashlight at them, landing on Wade's face." What's with your friend?"

Francis looks at flash, pointing." Oh, he always looks like that, its genetics."

Flash glared at Francis, but otherwise didn't say anything.

Mr. Barton rolls his eyes, sighing." The other one."

Francis looks back at wade, the part of his face that's bleeding is covered up by the car." Oh, yeah, him. He got super drunk, we're driving him home."

Mr. Barton nodded, a small smile appearing on his face." You two are doing the right thing. Better home in bed then dead." He commented.

Flash and Francis both nodded, flash moving his head a bit too fast to be normal.

"What's his name?" Barton asked, leaning forward a bit to see Wade's face better.

Francis rubbed his neck." Wade." He replied simply.

"Wade, huh. Does wade know Halloween's next week?" He joked, finally turning his flashlight off and securing it back in its holder.

Francis and flash laughed awkwardly." I guess." Francis mumbled.

Barton's face then became stern." You two are responsible for him." He said, pointing to wade." Don't do anything stupid." He added before getting back into his car and driving away.

Francis and flash visibly relax after the cop leaves, but they quickly become tense again."did that just-? Did he just-?" Flash whispered, surprised.

Francis groans in annoyance." Dude, as soon as wade is reported missing that cop is coming right back to us!" He exclaimed.

Flash looked at Wade's body, confused." Missing? The dude is dead!"

Francis sighed angrily, rubbing his forehead." Really? I hadn't noticed!"

"I can help you." Peter said, almost out of nowhere, surprising the two jocks.

Flash and Francis share a look." Help? Who said anything about needing help?" He asked.

"Did we say we needed help?" Flash added, obviously more aggravated then Francis.

Peter rolled his eyes and walked up to Wade's limp body." I can bring him back to life."

"What?" Francis said simply, him and flash turning to wade as well.

Peter rubbed the back of his head." I mean, I think I can bring him back to life." Peter repeated.

Francis raised his eyebrow." I thought that rant of yours was some ploy to score with ugly chicks." He admitted rudely.

Peter glared at him and shook his head." It's for real." He paused." It works on mice anyway, what have you got to lose?" He added.

Francis shrugged.

Peter sighed heavily." Alright, this is not gonna be easy." He admitted.

Francis waved his hand." Just do whatever it takes."

"He's gonna need a whole new brain." Peter muttered, pushing his glasses up.

Francis and flash shared a look." Dude, no way." Flash exclaimed.

"Come on, flash, in the interest of science." Francis retorted.

"Oh? So why don't you just donate your's, dude?" Flash snapped.

Francis sighed." Cause I use mine occasionally."

Peter rolled his eyes, looking away from wade to the two jocks." I can get a brain from my dads work."

"Oh, how convenient." Flash muttered.

They all got into flash's jeep, peter being forced to sit next to the dead wade. Flash drove them to Peter's dad's lab, peter was the only one to get out, since he didn't want to them to mess anything up.

Peter quickly made his way to the lab that he knew held all of the brains. He opened the small refrigerator to see two tubs with names sprawled across the side. He grabbed the closest one, it had deadpool written on it, and rushed back out of the lab.

Next they headed to the high school, it was the only place that peter could think of that had all they needed for the procedure. Peter had checked a few days back.

They headed into their science classroom, flash struggling to carry wade while Francis carried a flashlight. Flash set wade down on one of the tables, sighing in relief. Peter left to collect the lightning rods and flash went to go plug a whole bunch of extension cords going from the roof to the classroom, connecting the lightning rods.

Once they completed preparing everything, they surrounded Wade's body. Peter set the new brain on the table and positioned a bone saw over Wade's forehead, preparing to cut his top off.

Flash, who was holding up the flashlight so that peter could see, looked about ready to puke. He was also saying something under his breath that peter couldn't quite make out.

Francis heard it too, seeing as he snapped at flash to stay quiet." We're supposed to be being stealth, so shut up."

Peter ignored them and got to cutting open Wade's skull, he was going to have a nasty scar after this. Peter took out Wade's damaged brain and then reattached the new one. Thank god his dad taught him everything he knows about brains or else peter wouldn't of been able to do anything.

Peter finished stapling the top of Wade's head back where it belongs and turned to Francis and flash. He was holding up two wires that attach to the extension cord, basically small jumper cables." Okay, uh, this end has to be attached to his foot." He said, handing one end to flash.

Flash grabbed it, confused." What?" He asked, looking from the cable to Wade's foot.

Francis sighed." Just do it!"

Flash clipped the end to the tip of Wade's shoe.

Peter groaned, it was amazing how dull flash was." You have to take of his shoes and socks, it has to be clipped to his raw skin."

Flash nodded and removed Wade's shoe and sock, clipping the cord onto Wade's foot. He looked to Francis and groaned." He had a toe ring, he deserved to die."

Peter ignored them, handing flash the other cord." Now, clip this other end to your ear."

Flash looked to Francis, taking the cord." Why do I always gotta be the Guinea pig?"

Francis just shrugged.

Flash brought the cord to his right ear, but before he could clip it on, Francis stopped him." No, no. Clip to to your left ear, man."

Flash nodded." Oh." He do as Francis advised and clipped it to his left ear." Let's boggy." He said, signaling that he'd done it.

A flash of lightning struck, thunder accompanying it not a moment after." Nows the time." Peter mumbled. He pressed a few buttons on the machine to his right that was connected to the cords.

Then, suddenly, electricity was flowing through wade, so much so that you could see it. Wade's limp body was now shuddering with the current of electricity.

The electric current stopped just as suddenly as it had started. Peter rushed to the computer that he had attached a heart monitor to so that he would see if wade would wake.

At first, it seemed like they had failed, Wade's heart hadn't made a single stutter and neither had his body.

"What's going on?" Francis tentatively asked.

Peter sighed." Nothing." He said defeatedly.

"He's not moving." Flash grumbled.

"How'd you come to that conclusion, Sherlock?" Francis asked sarcastically.

Just then, Wade's heart began to beat and wade stood from the table with a big intake of breath, looking at them with confusion.

Flash immediately stepped back with a yell of shock.

Peter grinned brightly, ecstatic that it had worked. He had brought a person back from the dead! Peter snapped his finger in front of the panting wade, to see if he was responsive.

Wade snapped back with only a little difficulty.

"We did it! We did it, man!" Peter exclaimed, laughing in delight and turning to the two jocks." He's alive!"

Then, before either of the jocks could say anything, wade began to speak up." I ah- iee-" wade was obviously having difficulty speaking." I- I st-stink." Wade finally stuttered out.

Francis turned to peter while flash sniffed his shirt." He really does." Francis commented.

Peter walked closer to wade." No, no. It's okay." He reassured." The living tissues with grow and replace the dead cells and the smell with go away."

"Where am I." Wade asked, looking around the science classroom like a lost puppy.

Peter looked over to Francis, he really didn't want to explain what happened and since it was Francis who killed wade, it was up to Francis to explain.

"You're wade Wilson, you're a junior in high school, and uh, you and peter and flash and me, we broke into the school to steal some test papers and you hit your head man." Francis explained.

Wade nodded, still looking confused but also a little relived. He touched his head, feeling the wound there and wincing a little.

Peter leaned forward." It must hurt, huh?" He asked sympathetically." Well, it'll go away in time. I promise." Peter reassured.

Wade nodded slightly." Thanks." He paused." Peter." He muttered out, still having a bit of trouble talking.

They all smiled, peter laughing happily which caused them all to chuckle, the stress leaving the three teens.

Then, losing his balance, wade fell back on to the table, cutting off the chuckling.

"He looks like crap." Francis muttered.

Peter leaned over wade, who was now unconscious." Yeah, you're right." He sighed." We have to uh- we have to get rid of all this bloody hair. Bring me some clothes from the theater department, his are as gross as his hair." Peter said, grabbing scissors and chopping off Wade's shoulder length black hair so that it's barely 2 inches long.

Flash came back with some kind of civil war uniform and a hat to cover the long cut across Wade's head. Peter quickly changed wade into the costume, trying his best to hide his blush.

Once wade was clothed, flash picked him back up and they left the classroom, not bothering to clean up. The school didn't have enough in the budget for working cameras anyway.

They made their way to flash's jeep, tossing wade back in the passenger seat, peter next to him. They drove in relative silence, with the occasional dumb comment from flash followed by an insult from Francis.

Finally, they stopped in front of the gates to Wade's house. The shear size of it shocking everyone, it was closer to being a mansion then a house.

Wade, who had woken up halfway through the drive, stepped out of the jeep. Oddly enough, also looking surprised at how big the house was.

"This is your house, bro." Francis stated when wade hadn't moved away from the car." It's the address we had for you on your license." He added, handing Wade's wallet to him.

Wade stared at the wallet, bringing it close to his face. Ever since he was brought back, wade seemed to be in shock, though that was probably to be expected. Since, you know, he died.

"So, see you in school." Peter said hesitantly, braking the awkward silence.

"Uh, just put it in the old pocket there and head on home, okay?" Francis said, motioning to the wallet in Wade's hand.

Wade nodded, putting his wallet into his pocket." Thanks for the lift, fellas." He said, no longer having difficulty speaking.

"Flash." Francis said, annoyed when instead of driving away he just stared dumbly at wade. Flash quickly pressed the gas and drove away.

Peter looked back, smiling dumbly at wade as they left. He was just overjoyed that he, peter Parker, had brought somebody back from the dead.

Wade watched the car leave and then made his way into the large house.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter was walking down the school hallway when Harry popped out of nowhere." Hey, peter! You hear that the science lab got trashed last night?" Harry asked, walking with peter.

Peter looked over to Harry and shook his head." Really? He asked, hoping that Harry couldn't see through his lie.

"Yeah, I thought you might know, I called your house and your dad said you were grounded cause you were out all night." Harry said, then he saw flash and Francis walking up to them." Social confrontation." He muttered.

"What's up, petey kid." Flash said." What's up." He repeated, raising his arms, a grin on both flash's and Francis' faces.

Harry threw peter a confused look, but peter just shrugged. He was then pulled between flash and Francis, both their arms going around his shoulders." Come on in." Francis said.

Then Francis looked to Harry, who was standing in front of them awkwardly." Disappear." He said, waving him off.

Harry gave peter another confused look before sighing, muttering." That's not right man." Under his breath as he walked away.

Francis moved in front of peter, flash still holding peter tight against his side." You hear that, that's a mating call." Mj and Vanessa's giggles could be heard coming towards them." Showtime." Francis added.

As the girls walked up, Vanessa gasped." Oh my god." She said, looking towards wade who was fiddling with his locker. It seemed that he wasn't able to open it.

Mj and Gwen both looked over as well." What happened to wade?" Mj asked. Wade seemed to have changed over night, no more long hair, emo makeup, and dark broody clothing. Instead, wade was wearing a long sleeved shirt, rolled up to his elbows, jeans, and a Beanie. Which made him look very attractive.

"What are you talking about?" Francis asked, they were all looking at wade now.

"What'd you guys do to him?" Vanessa asked, ignoring Francis' question.

"Nothing, why'd you think we did anything!" Flash quickly said, earning him a glare from Francis.

Gwen looked up at them, raising an eyebrow." Um, don't you remember? Weren't you guys gonna like beat him up or something?" She asked.

Wade pulled out a knife then, done with trying to guess the locker combination.

"Nope, look. We swear on the holy bible, we didn't touch a hair on his head." Flash said.

Mj sighed dreamily at wade." Ooh, look at his chest. So hot." Mj said just as wade took his knife and broke the lock off.

Mj quickly turned to flash." Oh, but I love you more." She grinned, holding flash's arm.

Vanessa hummed in agreement, eyeing wade up." He is pretty sexy." She said.

At that, wade looked up as he pulled his locker open, smiling." I forgot the combo." He stated, assuming that they were looking at him since he just broke the lock off with a pocket knife.

Francis, opting to ignore wade, rewrapped his arm around peter." Ladies, meet our new pal, peter."

Peter gave a small wave as flash playfully hit his stomach.

Vanessa rolled her eyes." Whatever." She muttered, looking back over at wade, everyone else looking over at him as well.

Wade glanced up at them again before grabbing his books and closing his locker, leaving for his next class.

^^^later that night^^^

Peter was doing research on his laptop, when his dad knocked on his open door, walking in." Something chewed through one of the kitchen cabinets. I thought your mouse died?" Steve asked.

Peter pushed his glasses up." No, no, I uh, bought a new one. He should be in his cadge." Peter lied, he'd actually brought his mouse back a few days ago, but he wasn't just about to tell his dad that.

Peter looked over to the cadge next to his desk, it was empty. Huh?

Peter's dad left and peter finished up what he was doing and followed soon after, wanting to find his mouse, he walked down the stairs, he heard his dad and father talking.

"You have to talk to him, tony." Steve said.

Tony sighed." What am I gonna say to him?" Tony asked.

"Well, he's your son and he's acting strange."

"He's a teenager, it's what they do. You've got to think of them as a dangerous little chemistry experiment.

Peter stopped paying his parents any mind as he crawled around on the kitchen floor, muttering his mouse's name." Egor, Egor." Peter stopped looking in the kitchen and made his way to the next room.

He was behind his parents, still on all fours, whispering his pet mouse's name. His parents paused their talking, both looking at peter amused.

Steve patted tony, motioning for him to talk to peter.

Tony sighed and got out of his chair, kneeling down to be level with peter." They're just hormones, son. Don't let them get the best of you." Tony said, looking up at Steve and then back at peter." Now look, I'm taking your dad with me Friday night to the annual brain trust reunion dinner. We'll be home on Saturday."

Tony's voice faded out as peter began to pay more attention to what the news lady was saying.

' _Young teenager claimed to be the deadpool, the convict who was killed last week while robbing a hair salon, was found by truant officers drinking alcohol in a local theater.'_

There was a picture of wade Wilson on the television, causing peter to pause and think. He could faintly hear his father saying his name, but peter was more focused on this new revelation. He had not in fact brought wade back to life, no, instead he had brought deadpool back to life. Oh no.

"Peter." Tony called, snapping peter out of it.

"Father, what exactly do you do with the brains?" Peter asked.

Tony smiled, looking towards a smiling Steve and then back at peter." Oh, hey, nice to see some interest in the old man." Tony said happily." Actually, I'm analyzing the discrepancies between the neurotransmitters of good people and bad people."

"Bad people?" Peter asked, desperately wanting to prove that he hadn't in fact put deadpool's brain into Wade's body, but it wasn't looking so good.

"That's right." Tony said, smiling over at Steve.

^^^at the Wilson residence^^^

Wade was standing in front of his father, who was lounging on a love seat with his shirt halfway unbuttoned and a beer in his hand. There was a cop between them, who was giving wade stern looks.

"So what's it gonna be? Custody of the state or custody of your father?" The cop asked, gesturing to mr. Wilson on the chair.

Wade looked from the cop to mr. Wilson and then back at the cop." I'll take my chances here." Wade said, nonchalantly.

The cop nodded, turning to mr. Wilson and shaking his hand.

"Oh, thank you officer. I'll take it from here." The man said.

The cop smiles and goes to leave, but turns back to say one more thing before he goes." Hey, make the best of it kid. You're only young once."

Wade grins to himself." Oh yeah?" He says, trying his best not to sound sarcastic. He brings his hand to his forehead in a salute." Take care now." Once the cop turns around, wade flips him off, sighing.

Once the cop is out the door, mr. Wilson stands up, looking at his son angrily." Where the hell were you?" He asks in a low tone.

Wade casually turns around, facing mr. Wilson." Trying to get laid." Wade replies, his pitch going up at the end like he was unsure.

Then, suddenly, mr. Wilson punches wade square in the face.

Wade grabbed his cheek, groaning turning into laughing as he straightened by up." What the hell was that?" Wade said, in an amused tone.

"Don't talk sass to me!" Mr. Wilson growled, backhanding wade.

Wade once again grabbed his hurt cheek, straightening up. There was no laughter or groans of pain this time. Wade casually lifted his fist and pointed at it." You see that?" He asked, before punching mr. Wilson so hard he fell back into his seat.

"You ever touch me again, I'll call every welfare and social agency in the phone book, have you thrown in jail, divorce you, sue you, whatever is it kids are doing these days. Got it." Wade said, stalking forward until he was right in mr. Wilson's face, his tone getting lower as he spoke.

Mr. Wilson's face turned from one of anger to one of fear as he snuck into his seat. Nodding lamely.

^^^school the next day^^^

"Don't forget, anyone who can provide me with the names of the individuals who perpetrated this little extracurricular science project, aka vandalism, will be vary much appreciated." Mr. Banner called as the students filed out of the classroom." And strictly confidential." He added.

Peter was packing his things, one of the last kids left in the classroom when wade called his name, walking over." Hey petey." He muttered a quick call me to a girl walking out of the classroom and then turned back to peter.

"How're you doing?" Peter asked, glancing at Wade's forehead, which was covered by a beanie.

"Doing good." Wade said, as peter picked up his bag and they both began leisurely walking out of the classroom.

"You, uh, back in school for good now?" Peter asked. Muttering deadpool at the end to see if wade would react to it.

"Yeah, yeah." Wade said cheerfully." Why?"

"Uh, no reason." Peter paused, saying deadpool again louder, incase wade hadn't heard him the first time.

Wade threw his arm in front of peter, leaning in close and blocking his way." What did you say?" Wade asked lowly.

Peter looked up at him." Oh, nothing, deadpool." Peter said, just throwing the name out now.

Wade looked down and then up before back at peter, sighing." Alright. At first I thought it was reincarnation right? Some Shirley McClain mojo. I mean hey, I could've come back as a turd. Hell I could've come back as Shirley McClain, petey. But that's not important right now, so I was happy with this wade kid's skin. But there's, there more to it, huh. Something's not right, Pete." Wade stated.

Peter nodded." Yeah, you think so?" He said sarcastically.

"I mean." Wade said, continuing on as if peter hadn't said anything." It's like." He groaned and grabbed his head." I don't know, heh." He let go of his head, blocking Peter's way again." I always knew I was a sociopath, but this, uhm, the schizoid thing doesn't fly." Wade said.

" I put your brain in Wade's body." Peter revealed.

Wade rose his eyebrows and looked down at himself." Uh huh." Then back at peter.

"I- I saved your life."

"You sure did, you were some bad ass fan, golly." Wade grinned.

"Look, we- I gotta keep this a secret." Peter said.

"You've given me a second chance, you think I'd do anything to screw it up?" Wade asked." Its in everyone's best interest to keep this a secret, to play it straight. Am I right?" Wade said, lowering his tone." Am I right?"

"Yeah." Peter answered.

"Yeah." Wade agreed, nodding. He then made to leave, but turned back around. Leaning closer, looking hopeful." Can you get Lana back?" He asked.

"Wait, who?"

"Turner."

"No."

"No, okay. Jayne Mansfield?"

"No."

"Marilyn?"

"No!" Peter said, sternly.

"Oh, Okay." Wade said, hopes dashed. He turned and walked out of the classroom, though he waited by the door for peter to walk out.

After a few moments, peter walked out of the classroom, completely missing wade who was standing by the door.

"Hey!" Wade called, catching up to peter and wrapping his arm around Peter's shoulder." Hey, what do you say we go out tonight, huh? You can show me the town, introduce me to some girls?"

"Nah, I can't." Peter said.

"Oh yeah? You do know some girls, right?" Wade asked.

"No." Peter said, shaking his head.

Wade looked at peter surprised, stopping him in the middle of the hallway." Any girls?" He questioned.

Peter sighed." No." He wasn't even interested in girls.

"And you think I have problems. We gotta get you a girl." Wade said, nudging Peter's side.

Peter huffed." I'm not, you know, interested in girls." Peter stated quietly, a light flush decorating his face.

Wade fake gasped, bringing both his hands to his cheeks." We'll just have to get you a boy then."

Peter looked at wade, a little surprised by his answer, he had expected wade to be a weirded out. Not that he was complaining, this was a much better reaction.

Wade pat Peter's shoulder." Don't look at me like that, I've been with a few guys in my day." Wade said casually." Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm pan, so."

Peter just nodded, now even more surprised by this revelation.

"You know any places around here where you can pick up dudes?" Wade asked.

"No, no. I can't, I have to house sit tonight. My parents are going out of town."

"Alright, then." Wade said, eyeing the ticket booth where Gwen was sat, then walking towards it, peter following him." Hey, um, are there any of those homecoming tickets left? I'd like one." Wade said, leaning on the table.

Gwen looked up, already grabbing a ticket." Just one?"

Wade looked behind him at peter." No, no, Petey and I aren't going together anymore, it's over between us. He's in love with someone else. It is okay to alone?" Wade asked, tapping the table as he handed Gwen the money.

Gwen handed wade the ticket." Sure. I am."

"Oh, really? So is peter." He stated, moving over next to the box that Gwen was keeping all of the proceedings.

Peter glared at wade and then looked at Gwen, actually a little surprised someone as popular didn't have a date.

Gwen looked up." Do you need a ticket?"

"Sure." Peter said, handing Gwen the money and taking his ticket." Its ironic that you don't have a date and you're the one selling the tickets." Peter said.

Wade, taking his chance while Gwen was distracted by peter, slipped his hand into the metal box and grabbed the money out of it, pocketing it before anyone saw.

Gwen chuckled." Well, in in charge of the school treasury."

"It's ironic." Wade agreed, moving away from the box and back over behind peter." Did you tell Gwen about the party you're having tonight?" Wade asked.

Peter looked up at wade, confusion written all over his face." What party?"

Wade ignored Peter's question, turning instead to Gwen." Blow out of the year, don't miss it." Wade grinned.

Peter turned and began walking away from the booth.

"Great." Gwen replied.

Wade nodded and then quickly followed after peter." Hey, cheer up. You're having a party." Wade grinned.

Peter sighed, his parents where gonna kill him if they found out.

^^^later at Peter's party^^^

Hawaiian music was playing, there were torches up, makeshift tiki bars, and everyone had plastic flowers around their necks. Wade had paid for the whole thing, which made him wonder why he threw it at Peter's place instead of his own.

Peter was standing with flash and Francis, drinking." You are making our job a lot easier, kid." Francis said.

Flash nodded." Yeah, dope idea, petey." Flash added, fist bumping Francis.

Peter shook his head." Nah, it was Wade's."

"Wade's? No, you gotta be kidding me?" Francis asked, surprised.

"Good thing we killed him, huh?" Flash muttered, looking around at all the scantily dressed teenage girls.

Then, they saw Gwen, Mj, and Vanessa walk into the party." Buckle in for an evening of bad jokes." Gwen stated, causing the other two to laugh as they walked towards flash, Francis, and peter.

  
"I see we already got laid." Francis commented, motioning to the plastic flowers around their necks." I suppose a foursome is out of the question?"

Gwen laughed."you suppose right."

"So, you ladies wanna get drunk?" Wade asked, popping out of nowhere and holding up a bottle of alcohol.

"Please." Mj said, holding her cup out for wade to pour into." Thank you, wade." Mj grinned.

Wade smirked." No problem, ladies." He said, pouring a cup for peter as well and handing it to him.

Peter smiled and drank some, mumbling a thanks.

"You know, I was gonna get the drinks." Francis mumbled, grabbing himself some alcohol.

"I couldn't be rude." Mj said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Oh, I can." Francis said, turning to wade." Hey, asshole, I got it."

"Whatever, chief." Wade said nonchalantly, throwing an arm around Peter's shoulder and walking them away.

"Boys are so weird." Mj muttered as they left.

Wade took peter to the side of the house that had the least people, but you could still hear the music. He sat down, leaning against the house, Peter sitting down next to him." So, tell me about yourself, petey. I want to get to know the guy who resurrected me." Wade said cheerfully.

Peter thought for a moment, until a story popped into his head." When I was in fifth grade I built a flying machine for the science fair." Peter smiled at the memory." I uh, crashed into the monkey bars and had to go to the hospital. I broke my leg and my arm, needless to say, I did not win that fair."

"Damn, petey. I just put together a bunch of bullshit for all my science fairs. Did your flying machine at least work?" Wade asked.

"Yeah, for about two seconds before I started free falling. It wasn't my best work, to say the least." Peter laughed.

Wade grinned, bumping their shoulders." Yeah, I bet." He remarked, leaning closer to peter." So, when'd you figure out you were gay?"

Peter flushed and looked down at the grass." In the sixth grade. I was the only one of my friends not fawning over girls, they didn't notice at first but then I started to get called out on it. It got me thinking and, since my parents are gay, it wasn't hard for me to reach the conclusion that I was gay. It wasn't hard to accept either, since gay couples weren't foreign to me."

Wade nodded." First time?" Wade asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Peter looked up, blushing." Actually, uh, I haven't done that." Peter admitted.

Wade looked both disappointed and very happy at this information." Okay, how about first kiss? You've had to of had your first kiss my now? Right?" Wade asked.

Peter shook his head, focusing on the Hawaiian music so that he could make his blush go down." No, I've never even held someone's hand, let alone kissed someone. Well, I used to hold my parents hands, but that doesn't count, so." Peter said, picking at the grass.

Wade smirked, grabbing Peter's hand." We'll just have to fix that, now, won't we." Wade stated, tuning peter to face him by his chin and kissing him.

Peter was stiff from shock the first few seconds of wade kissing him, but then he finally grasped what had happened and leaned into the kiss. It was fairly innocent, just a pressing of lips.

Wade pulled away, smirking." So, how was your first kiss?" He asked again.

"Well, besides the fact that it was with a convicted felon, it was okay." Peter smiled.

Wade brought a hand to his heart in mock pain." Just okay? You wound me peter, I might just die." Wade paused."Again." Wade added.

Peter laughed, oddly enough, the fact that wade was felon was starting to bother him less and less as he spent more time with him. He was starting to really grow on peter." I can't promise that I'll bring you back again if you do." Peter laughed.

"What? Is it because of the kiss? Here, I'll prove to you that my kisses are worth more resurrections." Wade said, pulling peter into another kiss.

Wade bit Peter's bottom lip, making him open his mouth so that he could deepen their kiss. Wade was dominating peter, mostly due to Wade's superior experience.

Peter practically melted into wade, climbing onto his lap with his arms wrapped around Wade's shoulders.

Wade's hands where under Peter's shirt, rubbing up and down his back.

Peter pulled away this time, panting slightly." Okay, maybe I'll bring you back one more time." Peter smirked, pecking wade on the lips.

Wade grinned, his hands moving to rest on Peter's butt." That's fair I guess. I'll just have to try and not get killed again." Wade then got something out of his pocket, handing it to peter." Anyway, this will cover the cleaning service, cleaning van is on the way. I told you you could trust me."

Peter nodded, pocketing the money. He looked around and saw that almost everyone had left by now, it was getting pretty late." Uh, thanks" peter got up." I should probably wait at the front for them."

Wade nodded, getting up as well." Yeah, you want me to wait with you?" He asked.

Peter shook his head." It's late, you should probably head back home."

Wade threw his arm over Peter's shoulder." Nah, I'm staying, not like I'm gonna get in trouble for coming home late."

Peter sighed." Then why'd you ask?"

Wade shrugged." I was trying to be polite." He grinned.

Peter smiled." Of course."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but drama is real fun to write and i really wanted to have this scene from the movie in here, so, unnecessary drama it is! But don't worry, wade and peter get together in the end, so it's chill, I guess?

Peter rushed to the window when he heard the familiar sound of his parents car pulling into the drive way. He had just finished checking the house for any remnants of the party. Thankfully, there were none, the cleaners that wade had hired had done a great job, the house was spotless.

Steve spotted peter in the window and smiled, waving." Peter, we're home." He called as they walked into the house.

Peter moved from the window to the front door, nervously waiting for his parents to come in." Hey guys." He said when they walked in." How was, um, how was your trip?"

Steve and tony looked around the house with surprised faces." This place is cleaner then when we left." Steve stated, missing Peter's question as they walked to the stairs to put their bags in their room." What'd you do? Hire a maid service?" Steve joked.

Peter shook his head and nervously followed then to the stairs." Um, father? Homecoming dance is tonight and I got a ticket." Peter said, looking at tony hopefully.

Tony smiled." You're free to go."

Peter rubbed his neck." Uh, I was hoping I could take the car."

Tony sighed, looking to Steve, who made a motion signaling that it was his call.

"Please?" Peter added.

"Show me your next report card and we'll talk about the car." Tony finally said.

"You know that Einstein flunked math?" Peter retorted.

Tony grinned." Okay, fair enough. You come up with a scientific breakthrough as profound as the theory of relativity and I'll give you the car. For keeps." He said, turning to catch up with Steve in their room.

Peter sighed, that was a bust. Guess he'll just have to get wade to drive him. Speaking of which, what where his motivations for kissing him the other night? Wade was a known playboy- well, the new wade was- so peter wasn't sure if the kiss even meant anything to the guy. He'll just assume it doesn't for now, Pete doesn't want to get his hopes up, they were both drunk and wade hits on most anyone.

^^^later at the dance^^^

Peter and wade walk through the gym doors and he's pretty sure that he just saw someone pour alcohol into the punch. Of course, what do you expect from a bunch of high schoolers.

"No problem, I don't mind driving you. I was coming here anyways and it's nice to have company." Wade said.

There was shitty music playing loudly and the gym was packed full of hormonal teenagers. It was only going to get worse from here, since soon most of them were going to be drunk.

Peter nodded, but before he could reply, Harry tapped the microphone to get everyone's attention." Alright, tonight I am here to announce the winners of this falls school-sanctioned popularity contest. This is the moment you all have been waiting for, this fall's homecoming king and queen are-" Harry paused and there was excited cheering in the audience." Francis Ajax and Vanessa Carlysle!"

The students all clapped and cheered for the two as the both walked up onto the stage. They were crowned by Harry, Vanessa first and then Francis.

"To all the people who voted for me." Vanessa said, smirking." Who else were you gonna vote for?" She joked, handing the microphone to Francis.

Francis took it, smirking as well." Thanks, I owe it to my baby." Francis said, pointing to Mj, who promptly fainted into flash's arms.

Peter rolled his eyes and flash bumped into wade, surprised at her sudden limpness. Wade took that opportunity to steal flash's wallet, peter couldn't help his chuckle. He should've felt bad, but flash had been an asshole to him for years. A little payback couldn't hurt.

Vanessa and Francis came back to the group, Francis shook mj back into consciousness. Then a slow song came on, most of the group left, including wade who peter assumed was going to look for some girl to dance with. 

Peter sighed, he kinda expected this. He was now alone with Gwen, the only other person in their group that had come without a date. 

They stood together, awkwardly, until Gwen finally broke the silence." So, you had a pretty cool party the other day."

Peter smiled." Uh, thanks." He replied lamely.

Gwen looked around." You, uh, just move to New York?" She asked.

Peter rose and eyebrow." We were in the third and fifth grade together." Peter said, chuckling a bit.

"Huh, we were?" She asked.

"Uh, remember the kid who built the flying machine for the science fair?" He asked, that was really the only memorable event for him when he was in elementary.

Gwen nodded." Oh, yeah. Didn't he, uh, crash into the monkey bars and have to go to the hospital?" He asked, laughing at the memory.

Peter rubbed the back of his neck." I broke an arm and a leg." Peter laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, that was you?" 

"Yeah. It's probably better we didn't meet back then." Peter laughed, he was way more awkward and cringy back then.

Gwen just laughed with him. They then descended back into an awkward silence as they stood by the punch table and watched couples dance.

In another area of the gym, mj sat at a table alone. Francis had left during their dance and hadn't been back since, she was starting to wonder if he'd found another girl to screw around with. 

Wade popped out of nowhere and sat down next to her at the small table." You lose somebody?" 

Mj looked over at him." No, why do you ask." She lied.

Wade stood up, holding out his hand." Follow me." He said simply.

Mj hesitantly took his hand and he led her over to the bleachers where unmistakable sounds of kissing could be heard." Wade?" 

Wade brought a hand to his lips and shushed her, pointing to a couple that, now that Mj looked closely, she could tell were Vanessa and Francis making out.

"Look at that. I would never, in a million years, do that to you." Wade said.

Mj looked away from the couple, muttering an 'oh my god' as she did. 

"Why that asshole would risk losing an angel like you, I'll never know. I'm sorry." Wade said, patting her arm. He was doing a pretty good job if he said so himself, she was totally falling for the act. Wade just really needed some quality time with a good looking lady to get peter off his mind. He didn't like how the guy made him feel, he'd never felt like that towards anyone and he wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing yet. 

Mj smiled up at him." Thanks." She said softy." Let's get out of here?"

Wade held back a smirk and just smiled back at her." Sure." He held out his hand again and she took it. They walked out of the gym together, but just in time for flash to see them leave. 

"Waters brewing." Flash muttered. He turned and left for the restroom where Francis was gonna meet him.

It took Francis five minutes to get to the restroom, at least flash had his phone and some beer to occupy him while he waited. 

"Sorry I'm late, flash." Francis muttered as he got in the stall next to flash.

"Where were you?" 

"Mashing with your date." Francis replied simply.

"She's good isn't she, man." Flash said, they both hummed in agreement." The life of a player." Flash muttered, passing a beer to Francis. 

The sound of somebody puking could be heard in the next stall, gross." I would've smashed your date, but she's already taken." Flash stated.

"Hey, what's mine is yours man." Francis muttered, taking a swing of his drink.

"Like I said, she's already been taken." Flash reiterated, emphasizing the been.

"What're you taking about?"

"She left with the dead guy." 

Francis abruptly stood up." My Mj?" He grumbled.

They both made their way out to the parking lot, were everyone had been leaving to all night. There were a whole bunch of cars and teens making out in them. They spotted Wade's car and angrily made their way over and by angrily, I mean drunkenly.

"You know, you used to really freak me out, but now? I don't know, you're kinda growing on me." Mj said, looking over the wade. They were sitting in the back of his truck, just talking, much to Wade's disappointment.

Peter was there too, though he was hanging with Gwen at her car. He was doing his best to ignore wade, but he couldn't help feeling hurt. At least Gwen was distracting him, he was right, she was nice. Hopefully they'd be friends after this.

"Hey, we're teenagers right? It takes a while to be comfortable in our own skin." He said, pinching her arm when he said skin." It's a hormonal thing. I think."

She giggled." You're still weird, but I like it." Gwen said, leaning in to kiss wade. 

Before she could, they were startled by Francis and flash." Come over here, Francis's woman." He practically slurred, obviously drunk.

"No, I'm not your woman. And I'm not moving, it's a free country." She stated angrily.

Wade chuckled." No, not to Francis it's not, he's a dictator and a dick." They both laughed.

Francis fake laughed." We'll see how hard you laugh when I reach down your throat, grab your ass, and turn you inside out."

Wade got up, hopped out of the back of his truck and up to Francis." No offense, sweetie, but I'd rather stick to Mj grabbing my ass."

Francis turned to flash angrily and then back to wade, throwing a punch that wade caught. 

Wade turned Francis around, pulling his arm behind his back, and pushing him down." Easy there. Easy there." He repeated, the second one lower as Francis groaned in pain at the angle of his arm.

Flash did some lack luster kicks and punches into the air, attempting to intimidate wade." Come on!" He shouted.

Wade rolled his eyes." Oh relax, man, this has nothing to do with you." Wade stated, annoyed.

"You wanna dance!" Flash exclaimed, continuing to kick and punch the air, making a fool of himself.

"Dance?" Wade asked, letting Francis go and kicking him in the stomach, out of his way." Oh, I like the night life, oh yes, I like to boogie." Wade said, walking up to flash.

Wade pointed to the side at nothing, making flash look." Oh, flash." Wade said, genuinely disappointed that he fell for that. He punched flash right in the nose when he looked back at wade.

Flash fell to the cement, holding his nose and looking up at Vanessa in pain." Oh, my nose. He just broke my nose." Flash whined.

Laughter could be heard from all the other teens there, even Gwen and peter had saw and laughed at the spectacle. No matter how hard peter tried not to, he was still a little mad at wade. Though he felt like he shouldn't be, it's not like wade had said they were dating, it was just a stupid kiss. Peter sighed.

Wade casually walked back over to Mj." Goodnight guys, thank you. Next show 8 o'clock." He helped Mj out of the trunk." I'll take you home."

"He broke my nose!" Flash repeated, still holding said nose in pain.

"You should have someone look at that." Vanessa drawled.

Flash looked over at the nearest teen, removing his hands." You see what he did to my nose?" 

Vanessa sighed." I meant a doctor." She grabbed flash's shirt, pulling his up." Come on, lets go."

Francis finally got up from his curled position on the cement, looking angrily at wade." Look at you! With your new clothes and your hair and brain, you think you're so cool!"

Wade smirked, spinning Mj as he opened the passenger's door for her.

"I saved you, man! And this is what I get in return! Good, go ahead, take her. I don't care." Francis called as wade started his car.

"Goodnight, Francis." Wade said as he drove past him, not in the direction of Mj's house.

Grumbling, Francis made his way over to peter." You got a pretty good imagination?" He asked.

Peter rubbed his neck." Uh, yeah?"

"Well, imagine what I'm gonna do to you if you can't fix this." Francis growled.

Peter sighed, eyeing Gwen, who looked confused." Look man, I know how you feel right now, I mean, I'm used to feeling like a total fool." Peter said, trying to be reassuring.

"Shut up, man! You're monster is out of control, peter. You made him, you gotta stop him."

Peter glared at Francis, leaning closer so that Gwen wouldn't hear." You're the one who killed him!" He whispered angrily." This is you're fault, not mine. So deal with you're own problem." Peter said, louder this time.

Francis clenched his jaw, looking about ready to beat the shit out of peter. Gwen noticed too and grabbed Peter's arm, pulling him to the other side of her car before Francis could do anything." Come on, I'll take you home. You said wade was your ride, right."

Francis stomped away, back to his own car.

Peter sighed." Uh, yeah. Thanks." He said, getting into her car.

Gwen just nodded and got into the drivers seat." So, what was all that about?" She asked, starting up the car.

Peter shrugged, looking out the window." Nothing important." He muttered.

^^^in other places^^^

Wade had driven Mj to a secluded spot to make out and hopefully get some action. Which was looking quite promising seeing as she was all over him.

"Do you think I'm flat?" Mj asked between kisses.

Wade rolled his eyes." Sorry, but I can't think right now." Wade muttered, continuing to kiss the girl.

Mj kissed wade back, moving her hand up his face and pulling Wade's beanie off. She then felt something strange on his forehead, pulling back to look. She screamed." Oh my god! Thats so gross!" She shrieked, quickly backing away from wade.

"What! What!" Wade said back startled, between her yells. He quickly covered her mouth, shushing her." Just calm down. Calm down." He said, slowly removing his hand when it seemed that she had.

Mj immediately screamed again, rushing out of the car.

"Oh, come on!" Wade groaned, lazily following after her." Teenage girls are so superficial." He muttered, grabbing the flashlight.

Mj stayed a foot away from wade." That is so disgusting. Oh my god, stay away from me." She said, her voice high pitched and oh so very annoying.

Wade played around with the flashlight, shining it at her. He imitated her whines." Ew, gross." He walked closer to her, grabbing her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesss, cliffhanger! 
> 
> It's whatever tho, I'm writing this pretty fast (hence the mistakes) so I'll probably finish the next chapter either tonight or tomorrow.
> 
> Also, if you have any suggestions of movies Ryan Reynolds has stared in that you want me to 'make good' with spideypool, leave a comment. I've legit watched all his movies (cause I'm fucking trash) so..


	4. Chapter 4

Gwen walked into mr. Banner's office, he had asked her to come see him after class. She sat down him front of him." Um, mr. Banner? You asked to see me?"

Mr. Banner nodded." Yes, now. Let's talk about hats."

Gwen rose an eyebrow." Hats?"

"Hats. Now, as you know, we all wear many hats in the modern world that we live in. As an example; I'm a science teacher, but I'm also the special events chairman. You are a student, but you're also the school treasurer." Mr. Banner explained.

Gwen, who still looked a bit confused, said." Um, sir, you're making me very uncomfortable."

Mr. Banner sighed." When I went to pay the caterer after the dance Friday night, do you know what I found?" 

Gwen shook her head.

"Next to nothing. Twenty dollars. Now, as the school treasurer, it's your responsibility to know exactly where the lockbox is." 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't-"

"I'm going to give you twenty four hours to return the money." He interrupted." And if you don't, I can assure you there will be serious repercussions. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, fine. There's one more thing, I got a phone call from Mary Jane Watson's mother, now, apparently Mary Jane didn't come home last night. Do you know anything about this?" He asked.

Gwen shook her head, a worried expression covering her face." No." She replied simply.

Mr. Banner nodded." Okay, you're free to leave now, ms. Stacy."

Gwen nodded, standing up and heading out the door where she went to met up with Vanessa in the girl's restroom. She immediately asked about Mj.

"Don't worry about Mj so much, she probably went off with that freak wade, that slut. No, I'd be worrying more about the missing homecoming money if I were you." She paused, brushing her hair." So, who was the last person to buy a ticket?"

"Peter."

"And who threw a lavish party that evening?"

"Peter." Gwen repeated.

"Okay, now who should go burning down in flames?" Vanessa asked, touching up her makeup.

"Peter." Gwen mumbled." I gotta go." She said, rushing out of the bathroom so that she could confront peter.

Gwen found him not five minutes later, in the courtyard. He waved at her, but she just walked up to him, getting straight to the point." Look, you and wade were the last ones to buy a ticket, so just tell me, honestly, was it the two of you?" 

Peter gave her a confused look." Was what the two of us?"

Gwen sighed." Did you steal the homecoming ticket money?"

Peter shook his head." Gwen, no."

Gwen raised an eyebrow." How'd you pay for your party then?"

"What? I didn't, Wade did." He paused." Wait, so you think wade stole the money?"

Gwen looked unconvinced." No, I think you two worked together to steal the money. You distract me while he pockets it. It's the only thing that makes sense, if wade had took it without your knowledge, then he would've used it for himself, not for your party."

"No, seriously, Gwen, I swear."

"No, I swear, if you don't get me back the money by tomorrow, you're gonna wish you were never born. The both of you." Gwen said angrily.

"Gwen, pleas-" peter tried.

"Oh, and if you see your friend wade, ask him what he did to my best friend." Gwen stated, turning around and walking away angrily.

Peter sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. What had wade gotten peter into? Peter continued on his way out of school, but instead of heading home he made his way to Wade's.

Wade's house was a lot closer to the school then his own, something that peter was thankful for. He knocked on the door, but after five minutes of waiting for someone to answer, peter left.

He texted wade, asking him where he was and telling him they needed to talk. Wade gave him the directions and peter followed them.

Wade was outside a theater, in the parking lot making out with some girl. Peter clenched his jaw, the only sign that he was bothered." What'd you do to her?" Peter asked, walking up to the two.

Wade pulled away from the girl to look at peter." Which her?"

A wave of jealousy and hurt ran through peter at those words, he did his best to ignore it." Mj. She didn't go home last night."

"Excuse me." Wade mumbled to the girl he was kissing before walking over to peter." Look, Mj wouldn't put out, okay? I'm too old to date without scoring."

Peter glared at that, but sighed, calming down." So then, you didn't kill her?"

"Oh listen, do I look stupid enough to ruin a good thing?" Wade said exasperated." Well, forget about what I look like, that's your fault." He sighed." Look, you know, you know I'm not gonna mess up this little fantasy. I'm sure the girl is fine, just brokenhearted over losing me. I'm such a jerk, but hey." Wade shrugged.

Peter nodded." What about the homecoming money? You stole that didn't you?"

"How else was I gonna throw your party, eh? I was doing it for you, all for you." Wade said, poking Peter's chest.

"Well, a lot of good that did. Now Gwen is pissed at both of us, wade. She's giving us until tomorrow to give her back the money or we're both screwed." Peter explained.

"Well, that wasn't part of the plan. Now, I've got an idea."

"I don't need your help." Peter mumbled.

"Pete, hey!" Wade growled." I'm throwing a little soirée tonight in honor of my fellow ghouls and I'll make sure Gwen shows up and we'll take care of this whole thing." Wade said, his voice back to its normal casual tone.

Peter glared at him, still hurt and Wade's blatant playboy attitude wasn't helping." I said I don't need your help." Which was a lie, since peter had no idea how to get the money.

"Lets be straight here kid." Wade said, obviously a little annoyed." You may very well be able to bring people back from the dead, but you don't have a clue about life. Now, I suggest you let me help you." 

Peter sighed, knowing and not liking that wade was right." What do you want me to do?" 

Wade smiled." Come with me." Wade said, walking back over to his car, waving the girl away. She gave wade an annoyed look, but left.

Peter followed him, getting into the passengers seat." What're you planning?" He asked, hesitantly.

Wade started the car." Relax, it's just a little pre-party prep, it'll be over before you know it." Wade began driving, it was getting dark and the little kids could already be seen trick-or-treating.

Wade pulled into a little hair salon that looked like it had just closed or was getting ready to. Peter looked at it, confused." So, what're we doing?" 

Wade looked at the lady that could be seen from the window of the shop." The gal that works here owes me some money. Wait here and honk if you see anyone coming, okay?" Wade said as he got out of the car and walked into the almost empty shop.

Peter stayed in the car for a few moments before getting out, having a bad feeling about this.

Wade sauntered up to the only person in the shop." I'm back."

She gave him an annoyed look." And I'm closed." Her black hair was pulled back and there was a match hanging out the side of her mouth.

"It's good to see you again." Wade continued. 

She shot him a confused look." Do I know you?"

"Know me? You killed me." Wade laughed.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked, her face stern.

"I thought any lady who left their shop unlocked at night while they closed up would be an easy target." Wade said." Anyway, when I pulled out the gun you dropped to one knee and begged me not to kill you." 

She looked scared now and her eyes where looking around the room, probably looking for an escape route.

"Little did I know you- youu." Wade said, pointing to the woman." You had a Derringer in your boot." Wade pouted in a whiny voice.

"Jesus H. Christ." She muttered. 

Wade pulled his gun out and held it to her head." Boo." He pushed on her head, making her kneel." I am very angry with you." He cocked the gun." You didn't think I'd just let you get away with it, did you?"

Peter walked through the unlocked doors." You got a witness here." He stated, not about to let wade kill someone.

"What?" Wade said lowly, turning to peter." You're going to need one hell of a witness protection program, get back in the car. Now!" Wade ordered." Get back in the car, petey!"

Peter looked hesitant." No, you'll kill her!"

"She killed me first!" 

"You were robing her!"

Wade took a deep breath, turning back to the woman who was still kneeling in front of wade." I won't have to if she gives me all the money in the cash register." Wade tapped her head with the gun." So what's it gonna be? Huh?"

Peter glared and crossed his arms, he wasn't even close to being strong enough to stop wade. But he was okay as long as wade didn't shoot her, yes, taking her money was mean, but at least she would live. That's all peter cared about.

The woman stood up without a word, slowly making her way to the cash register with wade watching closely, making sure she didn't try anything.

"Good choice, cause either way I was gonna get the money." Wade added. He took a plastic bag from his pocket and held it out for her to drop the money in to.

She did, her hands shaking a bit, the only sign that she was scared.

Wade smiled." See, that wasn't so hard. Definitely not something to kill someone over. Now." He pointed to the corner across from them." You go sit over there and if you give any police any information about either of us." Wade said, motioning at peter and him with the gun." Then I'll come back here and kill you." His tone deep." Got it?" He said cheerfully, a stark contrast to his former tone.

The woman nodded and walked over to the chair, taking a seat.

Wade walked out, watching the woman the entire time, gun still aimed at her head.

Peter followed behind him. They got back into Wade's car and peter sighed." Thanks for not killing her, I've read about some of your previous crimes and I know you could have." Peter mumbled.

Wade just hummed and started the car, driving to his house where the party had already started. He had expected this to go a lot faster, but he had also expected peter to stay in the car.

They stopped in front of Wade's house. The mansion had been decked out in Halloween decor, colorful lights, and the music could be heard from blocks away.

Wade walked to Peter's door, opening it for him." Oh, you're gonna love this." Wade held out his arm for peter to hold.

Peter hesitated before getting out of the car and reluctantly taking Wade's arm so that he could show peter around the big place.

The walked past all the partying teenagers out front and into Wade's house, which was also packed with teenagers. 

A large figure in a black robe crept up behind peter." Death is easy, it's living that's hard." The figure stated in a deep voice.

Peter was a little surprised by the sudden voice, but otherwise the figure hadn't scared him one bit." Scary." Peter mumbled sarcastically.

"Nice work old man, it's good." Wade said.

"Was it to much?" The figure asked, removing his hood to reveal mr. Wilson.

"No!" Wade said sarcastically.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah." Wade said, in that same high pitched sarcastic voice that mr. Wilson seemed to take seriously.

"Great." He said, taking a swig of the wine bottle in his hand.

Wade then took peter over to the guillotine that was being used to chop up watermelon at the moment." Oh, this S&M stuff makes me horny." Wade said, innocently twiddling is fingers.

Peter rolled his eyes. 

Wade then grabbed Peter's arm and pulled them down some stairs to the next room, which had no other party goers roaming around in and was devoid of Halloween decor." Basement, evening wear, ect." Wade said, pulling them deeper into the room where they saw more clothing." Other here we have ladies fashions and other torture devices." Wade said, slamming Peter's hand against a wall.

Peter winced." What're you-" he was cut off by wade suddenly kissing him. Peter kissed back at first, but then pushed wade away." Hey, you can't just use me when you feel like it, like you do with everyone else. I won't let you. Oh, and try a breath mint." 

Wade actually looked a little guilty at that, his shoulders slumping a bit. He bit his lower lip." About that." He paused looking away." You see, you were the reason I was doing that, well, kind of."

Peter gave him a confused look." What're you talking about? How am I the reason?"

Wade sighed and slumped forwards onto peter, laying his head on Peter's chest." Cause, I genuinely like you. Which is as uncommon for me as unicorns are to reality. Or well, it used to be." Wade mumbled into Peter's shirt.

Before peter could formulate an answer, Francis and flash showed up. Peter almost burst out laughing at Francis's costume, he was dressed in revealing women's clothing with makeup, wig, and everything. Surprisingly, it looked quite good. Flash was dressed in a suit, peter guessed he went as bond or something.

"What's going on here, boys?" Francis asked." You know what, I don't care."

Wade moved from Peter's chest to face them, that's when Francis lunged at wade, attempting to hit him.

Wade just grabbed him and put him in a headlock, which he slipped out of thanks to the wig, which wade was now holding.

Francis grabbed a random wooden plank from the ground and swung it at wade, but wade just caught it and threw it to the ground. He grabbed Francis by the neck and slammed him into the couch next to them.

" Damn!" Francis groaned.

"You look like a Dutch hooker." Wade stated.

Flash then, yelling, ran towards them, meaning to jump wade. Wade moved to the side when flash jumped and flash flew over the couch." Oh my finger!" He groaned.

Wade hopped over the couch, abandoning Francis, and pulled flash up by his shirt. He took out his gun and held it to flash's head." Now what? Now. What?!"

"Um, take a chill pill, man." Francis answered.

"Flash, you are such an asshole that I'm thinking." Wade said, ignoring Francis and pressing the gun into flash's head." I might actually be able to make it back into heaven by killing you."

Peter finally moved from his position against the wall to in font of wade." Don't- don't kill him wade. I swear, if you kill him I'll, um, I'll end this relationship right now. I don't want to be with someone who'll just kill another person." Peter stated.

Wade looked between the shaking flash, petrified Francis, and angry peter, sighing heavily." Fine, I got it. No killing." Wade hit flash with the butt of his gun, effectively knocking him out." See? I told you, I wouldn't just listen to someone who I didn't care a lot about." Wade said, stepping towards peter and holding his waist, ignoring Francis.

Francis ran over to flash when he saw wade pocket the gun, checking if his best friend was okay.

Peter sighed, shooting Francis and flash a worried look before turning back to wade." Okay, I believe you. Just, tell me why you having actual feelings for me makes you want to do as many girls as you can? Cause that doesn't make any sense."

Wade slumped back against peter in relief, resting his head on Peter's shoulder." I told you, it's not really something I thought I was even capable of feeling. I kinda freaked out, thought if I buried myself in women that it'd go away. But it just made me feel like a dick."

Peter nodded." Well, you were being a dick, so that makes sense. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I realized that there was no way I was getting rid of these feelings when I actually wanted to listen to you back at the salon."

Peter nodded, awkwardly patting Wade's head. He couldn't help the grin that was now plastered over his face though, he was really happy to know that wade felt the same way. A small part of him wanted to still be made at him, but a bigger part understood that this had been a huge shock to wade." I guess I'll forgive you." Peter smiled.

Just then, Mj and Gwen walked into the basement, they had been looking for flash and Francis. 

Peter looked at Mj shocked, while wade started casually biting and sucking at his neck. Peter blushed, doing his best to ignore him." Mj, where have you been? Everyone's been worried about you."

"Oh, I snuck away to a clinic to make these bigger." Mj smiled, grabbing her boobs.

Gwen rolled her eyes, but she looked genuinely relieved that Mj was okay." She thinks it'll help her win prom queen." Gwen muttered, giving peter and wade a look.

Mj ooed." So you two?"

"Well, that's a surprise." Gwen said sarcastically. She then looked over to flash and Francis." What happened to him?"

Francis, who was holding flash in his arms, trying to shake him awake, suddenly stopped when he noticed the girls. 

Peter glared at wade as he continued to attack his neck, even after peter kicked him." They came down to beat up wade, it didn't turn out very well for them." 

Gwen nodded." Well, we're just gonna go now." She said, grabbing Mj's arm and dragging her back up to the main floor." See you guys around."

Peter looked back down at wade, who in turn looked innocently back up at peter." Will you stop that? PDA is not my thing."

Wade licked a stripe up Peter's neck." Oh? But it's mine." He stated, pulling Peter's hips forwards and into his groin, smirking.

Peter let out a surprised noise, flushing." No." Peter replied sternly.

Wade pouted." Flash, Francis. Skedaddle, before I change my mind about killing you both." 

Flash, who had finally woken up, and Francis quickly stood up as made their way out of the basement. 

Wade smirked." Better?"

"Better." Peter sighed.

"We're the best, we're gonna be on cereal boxes together, I'm serious." Wade grinned, picking peter up and sitting down on the couch, placing peter on his lap.

Peter rolled his eyes." Course." He mumbled before pressing their lips together. Wade's lips were moist and he'd lied earlier when he'd said that wade needed a mint. He had just been really upset.

Wade cupped Peter's face, leading their kiss into more intimate territory. His other hand moving to Peter's waist, pulling him close as their kiss deepened. 

Peter let out a moan as Wade's tongue lightly traced his bottom lip, asking for entrance in an unexpectedly gentle way. Peter opened his lips without a trace of hesitation, his body heating up in response to Wade's touches. His cock twitched as wade pulled Peter's hips into his, escalating their kiss.

Peter wrapped his arms around Wade's neck, rocking back into wade, who was now fervently kissing peter, not a trace of the previously gentle touch, not that peter minded.

After a particularly rough thrust, peter had to pull away, gasping for air. Wade took the opportunity to suck at Peter's exposed neck and squeezing his ass. Drawing another moan from peter.

He had been somewhat hesitant to do something like this here, at a party in a room that anyone could just waltz into, but peter had stopped caring.

Wade's hand moved under Peter's shirt, caressing his chest. Peter moved back and removed said item of clothing, tossing it behind the couch. Wade grinned, pulling Peter's chest up to his mouth so that he could lick and suck at his chest.

Another moan escaped Peter's lips and he pulled Wade's beanie off so that he could pull at his hair.

Wade pulled back, admiring the various red marks covering Peter's neck and chest. He pulled off his own shirt, revealing his toned chest that peter couldn't help but touch. 

Wade smirked." See something you like?" He asked, kissing peter again. 

Peter could only nod, his hands running over Wade's bare torso wherever he could reach. Causing wade to hum, pleased, and grind their hips together.

Peter moaned into Wade's mouth at the feeling of Wade's hard length pressed against his own. His hands moved down to unbutton Wade's pants, revealing that wade had gone commando, peter grinned.

Wade undid Peter's pants too, pulling both his underwear and pants down enough to reveal Peter's hard member. 

Peter gasped when wade grabbed both their cocks, rubbing them together, Precum leaking out. 

Wade pulled away, moving instead to bite Peter's neck again. Moans were now falling freely from Peter's mouth and he was glad the the music playing was so loud that he didn't have to worry about any of the partying teens hearing him.

Peter rocked up into Wade's hand, he could tell that they were both close. 

"Fuck, you sound so hot, petey." Wade groaned into his neck." I wanna hear you scream my name. Not Wade's, mine. I know you know it." Wade said, licking a stripe up Peter's neck.

"Dea-deadpool." Peter moaned after a particularly rough pull on his cock. It only took a few more seconds before peter was cuming into Wade's hand and dick, loudly moaning his name.

Wade came soon after, biting Peter's shoulder hard enough to draw blood. They stayed like that for a few moments, both catching their breaths." Shit, petey. That was hot." Wade breathed into Peter's ear.

Wade grabbed his shirt, cleaning them both up before zipping up his pants and tossing the shirt. Peter pulled up his pants as well, wade wrapped his arms around Peter's waist afterwards, pulling them close.

Wade fell onto his side, pulling peter with him so that they were laying on the couch." Just letting you know, I'm not letting go anytime soon." Wade stated, burying his face his Peter's hair.

Peter chuckled." I didn't take you for a cuddlier." Peter replied, amused.

Wade squeezed peter into him." Oh, baby boy, your in for quite a shock then, cause I'm the king of cuddles."

Peter just grinned, snuggling into wade. The thought of his parents briefly crossed his mind, but he was too warm and content to care about how mad they where going to be tomorrow. That was future Peter's problem, the only thing he was worrying about right now was the chance of wade letting him go. Which didn't seem very likely, seeing as wade just snuggled more into peter.

^^^the next day^^^

Gwen was walking down the hallway, neither peter nor wade had given her the money they had stolen yet, but it was the beginning of the day. She still held hope that they'd get it to her by the end of today, if they didn't? Well, they'd regret it.

"Gwen. Gwen!" Mr. Banner called, catching up to the girl and stopping her in the middle of the hallway." I have something very important to discuss with you."

Gwen nodded, preparing herself for another round of reprimands for not having the homecoming money yet.

"I own you an apology." Mr. Banner said, surprising Gwen." I was cleaning out my desk this morning and I found this." He said, holding up the missing homecoming money.

Gwen was shocked, she had been certain that peter and wade had taken it and peter had pretty much confessed to wade taking it, even if he denied any involvement. Had they snuck it into his desk? It wouldn't have been hard, though she wondered why they couldn't of just given it to her. Or maybe they wanted it to seem like mr. Banner had made a mistake, so that she wouldn't get in any trouble whatsoever. That made sense, peter did seem very sorry." You had it the whole time?" She asked, playing along.

Mr. Banner shot her a sheepish look." Sorry, I didn't know it was there. It was buried underneath all this paperwork."

Gwen just nodded." It's fine, everyone makes mistakes. I forgive you, mr. Banner." She smiled." Though, I have to get going to my next class."

Mr. Banner nodded." Yes, of course. See you fifth period, ms. Stacy." He called as Gwen left.

As Gwen walked down the hall, she past peter and wade, who were practically all over each other. Though, when she made eye contact with them, they both smiled. Well, wade smirked and looked towards banner and back, winking. 

Gwen smiled back at them, so she had been correct in assuming they had hidden the money in Mr. Banners office. She continued walking and wade continued kissing peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my shitty attempt at smut, but at least there was smut? Right? Maybe?
> 
> Anyways, I don't know, I think this'll probably be the end. What do you guys think? Also, I've decided that if I make this into a series the next movie I'm going to do is going to be Van Wilder. Wether or not I actually make this into a series though, it up to you guys I guess. That or I'll just do it anyways cause I'm real bored. Idk

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any mistakes, I should've looked it over but honestly, I'm super lazy so I'm just hoping my mistakes aren't too too bad.


End file.
